After reading an article on VSM, with a really unusual title, That’s a funny looking cow, I mean chicken, I mean cow, trying to take some old joke which had to be explained to be funny and turn it into a opener for the article. I realized I needed to write about all the virtualization jokes which are floating around the internet.

Sadly there aren’t many yet (maybe that’s a good thing). I did a roundup of virutlization comics a few months ago and was surprised the number I found. But for actual jokes, there doesn’t seem to be any good ones.

This is the only one I found, and I sadly think it is a stretch to call it funny:

Three hypervisors walk into a bar.

Three hypervisors walk into a bar.

The first hypervisor points to the pool table across the room and says to the other two, “watch this!” He snaps his fingers and the cue ball magically hits the 8 ball into the corner pocket. Hyvie 2 pats him on the back and says, “Nice job, but that’s nothing. Watch this!” Hyvie 2 points to the abandoned building across the street and snaps his fingers. Amazingly, a carnival appears out of nowhere, complete with hundreds of people, cotton candy and a ferris wheel!

Hyvie 1 and Hyvie 2 proudly give each other high fives and turn to Hyvie 3, who has been quietly standing by, watching the bravado. Then Hyvie 2 says, “Heh, heh - why so glum? I bet you can’t beat that one!”

Hyvie 3 slowly looks from Hyvie 1 to Hyvie 2… then he claps his hands.

And the other two disappear!

The joke was taken from Spire Security Viewpoint.

Really the only other search result for funny was Virtualization.com April’s Fools Joke They posted about Sun aquiring Parallels. Now I don’t think it is acceptable for business to post april fools jokes about other companies, especially publicly traded companies. Companies like Google have a long history of April fools day pranks and parodies which they use to lighten the mood. What you don’t see is them claiming corporate take overs or mergers which could cost day traders millions in stock prices if they fluctuate due to the rumors.

I did come across this humerous Australian companies PR site, Oriel. They use Virtualisation to calculate the savings on the environment using some uncommon indexes, such as cow gas.

Also in my research I came across Parking Lot Virtualization, it isn’t really a joke, but a humorous analogy using virtualization and government employees in a parking garage. The other humorous analogy I came across was An eggceptional virtualization analogy, you can probably guess by the title where that one goes.

I can’t have a complete technical article about jokes without including my all time favorite Microsoft joke, where I have heard it used in other contexts, but really does fit Microsoft the best:

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft’s electronic navigation and communications qquipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter’s position and course to fly to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter’s window. The pilot’s sign said “WHERE AM I?” in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign and held it in a building window. Their sign read: “YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.” The pilot smiled, waved, looked at her map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the “YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER” sign helped determine their position. The pilot responded “I knew that had to be the Microsoft building because, like their technical support, online help and product documentation, the response they gave me was technically correct, but completely useless.”(source)

If you are still looking for more Microsoft jokes check out: The Totally Unauthorized Microsoft Joke Book available on Amazon.com.

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